I Don't Write First Drafts. I Vomit Words and Clean Up the Crime Scene Later.

 Confessions of an ADHD Author

Some writers have outlines.

Some writers have carefully organized character profiles, detailed timelines, color-coded notes, and beautiful little spreadsheets explaining exactly what's supposed to happen in Chapter Seventeen.

And then there's me.

I sit down at my computer with a cup of coffee, a vague idea of what I want to accomplish, and approximately seventeen squirrels running around in my brain.

My plan might be perfectly reasonable. Write a chapter. Develop a scene. Maybe get a thousand words down before doing something responsible, like laundry.

Three hours later, I've written several thousand words, introduced a character I wasn't planning on creating, and somehow ended up with an entirely different scene than the one I originally intended.

And the laundry?

That bitch can wait.

Welcome to the Word-Vomit Method

I've heard writers talk about carefully crafting their first drafts, choosing every word with intention, and making sure each paragraph flows beautifully into the next.

That sounds lovely.

I wouldn't know anything about it.

My writing process involves opening the floodgates and letting everything come pouring out.

Dialogue? Absolutely.

Descriptions? Sure.

Random plot twists? Why the hell not?

A character suddenly deciding they're going to do something completely different from what I planned?

Apparently, I'm just here to operate the keyboard.

When the words are flowing, I don't want to stop and worry about whether a sentence is perfect. I want to get the story out of my head before one of those squirrels runs off with it.

And sometimes, that's exactly what I need.

Other times, I come back the next morning, reread what I've written, and wonder whether I was temporarily possessed by a caffeinated raccoon.

Then Comes the Cleanup Crew

Here's where things get interesting.

Because writing thousands of words feels fantastic.

Editing those thousands of words?

Well, that's when I discover the crime scene.

Apparently, I thought it was perfectly reasonable to repeat the same information three times. A conversation that should have taken two paragraphs somehow lasted four pages. And occasionally, a character does something that makes absolutely no sense because my brain was already six scenes ahead.

Then there's the punctuation.

We don't talk about the punctuation.

Okay, we do, but usually with profanity.

The funny thing is that I genuinely enjoy going back through my work and making it better. I love watching a rough scene turn into something emotional, funny, or beautiful.

I just wish the squirrels would occasionally leave me a note explaining what the hell they were thinking.

My Characters Aren't Helping

If you've read Whispering Hope, the first book in my Legacy Series, you've already met some of the people responsible for my questionable relationship with organization.

Kari Blake is brilliant, independent, fiercely loyal, and perfectly capable of taking a scene in a direction I wasn't expecting.

Lucas Devilton has his own ideas.

And the rest of the characters?

Let's just say nobody asked my permission before developing personalities.

I can sit down intending to write one simple interaction and suddenly find myself following a conversation that wasn't part of the plan.

But that's also one of my favorite things about writing.

Sometimes the unexpected moments become the ones I love most.

Of course, I still have to go back and make sure those moments fit the story.

Because apparently, continuity matters.

Who knew?

And That's How Wilbert Happened

Eventually, I started thinking about how much easier my writing life would be if I had somewhere to collect all this chaos.

Not a complicated productivity system that requires seventeen different apps, six spreadsheets, and a motivational speech before breakfast.

Just something designed for a brain like mine.

Somewhere to track my writing progress, capture random ideas, keep character details straight, and remind myself where the hell I left off.

That idea eventually became The Squirrel Chaos Container, my ADHD-friendly writing journal.

And naturally, it needed a mascot.

Enter Wilbert.

An overcaffeinated, slightly unhinged squirrel who looks like he has approximately as much control over his life as I do over my first drafts.

Honestly, he's perfect.

I'm currently waiting for my physical copy to arrive, and I fully intend to introduce that furry little troublemaker to the world when it gets here.

Assuming he survives the postal service.

So, Fellow Writers, I Have Questions

Does anybody else write like this?

Do you sit down with a perfectly reasonable plan, start typing, and suddenly discover you've produced thousands of words that will require extensive cleanup?

Do your characters hijack your scenes?

Do you forget the brilliant idea you had five minutes ago because your brain decided to investigate something completely unrelated?

Or are you one of those magical people who can create a detailed outline and actually follow it?

Because I would genuinely love to know what that's like.

Personally, I've accepted that my writing process is a combination of creativity, caffeine, chaos, and occasional profanity.

And you know what?

It works for me.

The first draft doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to exist.

I can clean up the crime scene later.

Now tell me: Are you a plotter, a pantser, or a fellow professional word-vomiter?

I Published My First Novel with $0 for Marketing and No Audience. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

 One week, several cups of coffee, and approximately 47 existential crises later.

A week ago, I officially became a published author.

Cue the confetti. Pop the champagne. Somebody alert the media.

Oh, wait.

There is no media.

There is no champagne.

And I'm pretty sure the only confetti around here is whatever my animals have managed to shred while I wasn't looking.

But I did it. I published my first novel, Whispering Hope, the first book in my Legacy Series.

I had a finished manuscript, a dream, absolutely no marketing budget, and a social media presence that could best be described as nonexistent.

What could possibly go wrong?

As it turns out, publishing the book was only the beginning.

And since I've survived my first week without throwing my computer through a window, I thought I'd share a few things I've learned.

Lesson One: Amazon Does Not Send a Parade When You Publish a Book

I know. Shocking.

After months of writing, editing, formatting, fixing things, breaking things, and fixing the things I broke while fixing other things, I finally hit publish.

And then?

Nothing exploded.

No marching band appeared.

Nobody showed up with balloons.

Amazon didn't send me a congratulatory fruit basket.

My book was simply sitting there among millions of others, waiting for someone to notice it.

Apparently, readers aren't automatically notified when some random woman with a caffeine dependency publishes her first novel.

Rude.

I quickly learned that writing a book and getting people to discover that book are two entirely different adventures.

One involves fictional characters refusing to cooperate.

The other involves algorithms refusing to acknowledge your existence.

Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse.

Lesson Two: Congratulations! You're Now a Social Media Manager

Nobody mentioned this part in the author job description.

I thought I was signing up to write books.

Apparently, I'm also supposed to understand TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, hashtags, reels, engagement, analytics, and whatever mysterious ritual convinces an algorithm to show my posts to actual human beings.

I've spent the past week creating accounts, posting content, experimenting with graphics, and wondering whether I accidentally offended the internet.

One video gets views.

Another sits there collecting digital dust.

And then something unexpected happens.

Someone buys your book.

An actual person.

Possibly even someone who doesn't share your DNA!

Suddenly, all that confusion feels a little more worthwhile.

I'm not retiring to a tropical island anytime soon, but knowing someone chose to read a story I created is pretty incredible.

Lesson Three: The KDP Dashboard Is Apparently Addictive

I would like to formally request that Amazon install a feature that tells new authors to go do something productive.

Because apparently, checking your sales dashboard seventeen times does not magically create seventeen sales.

Who knew?

You check it in the morning.

You check it after coffee.

You check it because you've finished a chapter.

You check it because you walked past your computer.

You check it because maybe, just maybe, something happened in the last six minutes.

And when the numbers haven't changed?

Clearly, the dashboard must be broken.

That's the only reasonable explanation.

I've learned that publishing requires patience.

Unfortunately, patience wasn't included in my original personality package.

I'm working on it.

Sort of.

Lesson Four: Free Marketing Is Free, Provided Your Time Has Absolutely No Value

Here's something nobody tells you.

You can market your book without spending money.

Technically.

You can start a blog, create social media accounts, join groups, connect with readers, and make promotional posts.

All for the low, low price of every spare minute you possess.

What a bargain!

Meanwhile, Book Two is sitting on my computer wondering whether I've abandoned it for a career in graphic design.

And my characters?

They're not particularly understanding about the situation.

I can practically hear them complaining.

Apparently, fictional people don't care about marketing strategies.

They just want me to finish telling their story.

Honestly, they're a demanding bunch.

So I'm learning to balance things.

A little marketing. A little writing. A little socializing.

And occasionally remembering that I am, in fact, allowed to have a life.

Revolutionary concept.

Lesson Five: Other Authors Are Not the Enemy

One of the nicest surprises this week has been discovering communities filled with other writers.

People who understand the strange experience of spending hours arguing with imaginary people.

People who know the emotional devastation of finding a typo after you've already checked the manuscript approximately nine thousand times.

People who understand that sometimes your characters take over the story, and you're basically just the unpaid secretary documenting their nonsense.

I've started joining author groups, following other writers, and getting to know people.

Not to shove my book in their faces.

Not to scream, "BUY MY BOOK!" every seventeen seconds.

Just to connect.

Because honestly, it's nice finding people who understand this particular brand of insanity.

And if we can support each other along the way?

Even better.

There's room for more than one author on the bookshelf.

Although I reserve the right to be jealous of anyone who has figured out how to make TikTok cooperate.

Lesson Six: Small Victories Are Still Victories

When you're starting with no audience and no advertising budget, your expectations have to be realistic.

You're probably not going to wake up the morning after publishing and discover you've become an international literary sensation.

If that happens to you, congratulations.

Also, I have questions.

Lots of questions.

But I've discovered that the little things are worth celebrating.

A new follower.

A few more views.

Someone visiting your blog.

A stranger buying your book.

A person expressing interest in reading your next novel.

These might seem insignificant to someone with thousands of readers.

But when you started with practically nothing?

They're pretty darn exciting.

Every reader has to discover you somehow.

And every author has to start somewhere.

Even if that somewhere involves drinking coffee in your pajamas while arguing with your computer.

Lesson Seven: Apparently, Writing the Next Book Is Still Required

Here's the truly outrageous part.

While I'm busy trying to convince the world that my first book exists, I'm also supposed to finish the second one.

The nerve!

Fortunately, Book Two of the Legacy Series is already well underway.

I'm working on getting it ready for readers, building an ARC team, and figuring out how to give the next release a little more visibility than the first.

You know, maybe this time I'll have more than three people aware that a book is coming.

A girl can dream.

I'm learning as I go, making mistakes, figuring out what works, and occasionally wondering whether I should have chosen a less complicated hobby.

Like juggling chainsaws.

Or wrestling alligators.

But then I remember how much I love telling stories.

And I get right back to it.

So, Was Publishing My First Book Worth It?

Absolutely.

Would I have liked to know a little more about marketing before I started?

Probably.

Would having a budget make things easier?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say yes.

But I didn't wait until everything was perfect.

I didn't wait until I had thousands of followers, a marketing team, or enough money to advertise.

I wrote my book.

I published it.

And now I'm figuring out the rest.

One day, one post, one reader, and one cup of coffee at a time.

I don't know where this adventure will lead.

Maybe I'll eventually build a wonderful community of readers who love my characters as much as I do.

Maybe I'll finally understand what the TikTok algorithm wants from me.

Maybe I'll even stop checking my KDP dashboard every time I walk past my computer.

Okay, let's not get carried away.

If you're another new author trying to figure this whole thing out, I'd love to hear what you've learned. Especially if you've discovered where Amazon hides the complimentary fruit baskets.

Until next time, keep your coffee strong, your characters interesting, and your squirrels properly supervised.

— Melinda Aubrey
Coffee, Chaos & Characters

Whispering Hope: Where It All Began

Every story has a beginning. Mine started with a girl named Kari, a boy named Lucas, and a whole lot of characters who apparently decided they were in charge.

If you've spent any time around Coffee, Chaos & Characters, you've probably already figured out that my brain doesn't believe in doing things the easy way.

I could have started with a simple little story.

Something sweet. Something predictable. Something where everybody behaved themselves and the characters politely followed the plot.

Yeah. That didn't happen.

Instead, I ended up creating an entire world, a cast of characters with more opinions than I know what to do with, and a story that refused to stay inside the boundaries of a single book.

And that's how Whispering Hope, the first novel in my Legacy Series, came to life.

Meet Kari and Lucas

At the heart of Whispering Hope are Kari and Lucas, two characters who have become incredibly special to me.

Their story is about more than romance. It's about family, belonging, the secrets people carry, and the kind of love that can change everything.

Kari's life hasn't exactly been a walk through a field of daisies. There are pieces of her past that have shaped who she is, questions that deserve answers, and a future that's more complicated than she could have imagined.

And then there's Lucas.

Let's just say he's not the kind of character who quietly sits on the sidelines when someone he cares about needs him.

Together, they begin a journey filled with emotion, surprises, laughter, and enough complications to keep me reaching for another cup of coffee.

I'm not giving away the good stuff, though. You'll have to read the book for that.

Why I Love Writing This Series

One of my favorite things about writing is watching characters become more than names on a page.

They develop personalities. They argue. They make terrible decisions. Occasionally, they even surprise the person who's supposed to be writing their story.

Somewhere along the way, Kari, Lucas, and their families became a whole world I wasn't ready to leave behind.

That's why Whispering Hope is only the beginning.

The Legacy Series continues beyond Book One, with more secrets to uncover, relationships to explore, and adventures waiting around the corner.

And believe me, these characters are nowhere near finished causing trouble.

My First Published Novel

Seeing Whispering Hope available on Amazon was one of those moments I'll never forget.

There's something surreal about taking a story that's lived in your head, putting all those words onto pages, and finally being able to say, "I wrote a book."

Not just started one.

Not just talked about writing one.

Actually finished it and published it.

Of course, my brain celebrated by immediately reminding me that I had more books to finish.

Thanks, brain. Very helpful.

But I'm proud of this first step, and I'm excited to share the world of the Legacy Series with readers.

Come Meet the Family

If you enjoy romance, family secrets, emotional moments, a little suspense, and characters who occasionally have absolutely no respect for their author's plans, I'd love for you to give Whispering Hope a chance.

Whispering Hope — The Legacy Series, Book One — is available on Amazon.

And if you do read it, I'd love to hear what you think. Reviews mean so much to independent authors, especially those of us building our readership one book at a time.

Thank you for being here, for supporting my writing adventures, and for putting up with the squirrels.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Book Two is calling.

Rather loudly, actually.

— Melinda Aubrey

Coffee, Chaos & Characters — Fueled by caffeine, distracted by squirrels, and occasionally writing books.