I Don't Write First Drafts. I Vomit Words and Clean Up the Crime Scene Later.

 Confessions of an ADHD Author

Some writers have outlines.

Some writers have carefully organized character profiles, detailed timelines, color-coded notes, and beautiful little spreadsheets explaining exactly what's supposed to happen in Chapter Seventeen.

And then there's me.

I sit down at my computer with a cup of coffee, a vague idea of what I want to accomplish, and approximately seventeen squirrels running around in my brain.

My plan might be perfectly reasonable. Write a chapter. Develop a scene. Maybe get a thousand words down before doing something responsible, like laundry.

Three hours later, I've written several thousand words, introduced a character I wasn't planning on creating, and somehow ended up with an entirely different scene than the one I originally intended.

And the laundry?

That bitch can wait.

Welcome to the Word-Vomit Method

I've heard writers talk about carefully crafting their first drafts, choosing every word with intention, and making sure each paragraph flows beautifully into the next.

That sounds lovely.

I wouldn't know anything about it.

My writing process involves opening the floodgates and letting everything come pouring out.

Dialogue? Absolutely.

Descriptions? Sure.

Random plot twists? Why the hell not?

A character suddenly deciding they're going to do something completely different from what I planned?

Apparently, I'm just here to operate the keyboard.

When the words are flowing, I don't want to stop and worry about whether a sentence is perfect. I want to get the story out of my head before one of those squirrels runs off with it.

And sometimes, that's exactly what I need.

Other times, I come back the next morning, reread what I've written, and wonder whether I was temporarily possessed by a caffeinated raccoon.

Then Comes the Cleanup Crew

Here's where things get interesting.

Because writing thousands of words feels fantastic.

Editing those thousands of words?

Well, that's when I discover the crime scene.

Apparently, I thought it was perfectly reasonable to repeat the same information three times. A conversation that should have taken two paragraphs somehow lasted four pages. And occasionally, a character does something that makes absolutely no sense because my brain was already six scenes ahead.

Then there's the punctuation.

We don't talk about the punctuation.

Okay, we do, but usually with profanity.

The funny thing is that I genuinely enjoy going back through my work and making it better. I love watching a rough scene turn into something emotional, funny, or beautiful.

I just wish the squirrels would occasionally leave me a note explaining what the hell they were thinking.

My Characters Aren't Helping

If you've read Whispering Hope, the first book in my Legacy Series, you've already met some of the people responsible for my questionable relationship with organization.

Kari Blake is brilliant, independent, fiercely loyal, and perfectly capable of taking a scene in a direction I wasn't expecting.

Lucas Devilton has his own ideas.

And the rest of the characters?

Let's just say nobody asked my permission before developing personalities.

I can sit down intending to write one simple interaction and suddenly find myself following a conversation that wasn't part of the plan.

But that's also one of my favorite things about writing.

Sometimes the unexpected moments become the ones I love most.

Of course, I still have to go back and make sure those moments fit the story.

Because apparently, continuity matters.

Who knew?

And That's How Wilbert Happened

Eventually, I started thinking about how much easier my writing life would be if I had somewhere to collect all this chaos.

Not a complicated productivity system that requires seventeen different apps, six spreadsheets, and a motivational speech before breakfast.

Just something designed for a brain like mine.

Somewhere to track my writing progress, capture random ideas, keep character details straight, and remind myself where the hell I left off.

That idea eventually became The Squirrel Chaos Container, my ADHD-friendly writing journal.

And naturally, it needed a mascot.

Enter Wilbert.

An overcaffeinated, slightly unhinged squirrel who looks like he has approximately as much control over his life as I do over my first drafts.

Honestly, he's perfect.

I'm currently waiting for my physical copy to arrive, and I fully intend to introduce that furry little troublemaker to the world when it gets here.

Assuming he survives the postal service.

So, Fellow Writers, I Have Questions

Does anybody else write like this?

Do you sit down with a perfectly reasonable plan, start typing, and suddenly discover you've produced thousands of words that will require extensive cleanup?

Do your characters hijack your scenes?

Do you forget the brilliant idea you had five minutes ago because your brain decided to investigate something completely unrelated?

Or are you one of those magical people who can create a detailed outline and actually follow it?

Because I would genuinely love to know what that's like.

Personally, I've accepted that my writing process is a combination of creativity, caffeine, chaos, and occasional profanity.

And you know what?

It works for me.

The first draft doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to exist.

I can clean up the crime scene later.

Now tell me: Are you a plotter, a pantser, or a fellow professional word-vomiter?

I Published My First Novel with $0 for Marketing and No Audience. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

 One week, several cups of coffee, and approximately 47 existential crises later.

A week ago, I officially became a published author.

Cue the confetti. Pop the champagne. Somebody alert the media.

Oh, wait.

There is no media.

There is no champagne.

And I'm pretty sure the only confetti around here is whatever my animals have managed to shred while I wasn't looking.

But I did it. I published my first novel, Whispering Hope, the first book in my Legacy Series.

I had a finished manuscript, a dream, absolutely no marketing budget, and a social media presence that could best be described as nonexistent.

What could possibly go wrong?

As it turns out, publishing the book was only the beginning.

And since I've survived my first week without throwing my computer through a window, I thought I'd share a few things I've learned.

Lesson One: Amazon Does Not Send a Parade When You Publish a Book

I know. Shocking.

After months of writing, editing, formatting, fixing things, breaking things, and fixing the things I broke while fixing other things, I finally hit publish.

And then?

Nothing exploded.

No marching band appeared.

Nobody showed up with balloons.

Amazon didn't send me a congratulatory fruit basket.

My book was simply sitting there among millions of others, waiting for someone to notice it.

Apparently, readers aren't automatically notified when some random woman with a caffeine dependency publishes her first novel.

Rude.

I quickly learned that writing a book and getting people to discover that book are two entirely different adventures.

One involves fictional characters refusing to cooperate.

The other involves algorithms refusing to acknowledge your existence.

Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse.

Lesson Two: Congratulations! You're Now a Social Media Manager

Nobody mentioned this part in the author job description.

I thought I was signing up to write books.

Apparently, I'm also supposed to understand TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, hashtags, reels, engagement, analytics, and whatever mysterious ritual convinces an algorithm to show my posts to actual human beings.

I've spent the past week creating accounts, posting content, experimenting with graphics, and wondering whether I accidentally offended the internet.

One video gets views.

Another sits there collecting digital dust.

And then something unexpected happens.

Someone buys your book.

An actual person.

Possibly even someone who doesn't share your DNA!

Suddenly, all that confusion feels a little more worthwhile.

I'm not retiring to a tropical island anytime soon, but knowing someone chose to read a story I created is pretty incredible.

Lesson Three: The KDP Dashboard Is Apparently Addictive

I would like to formally request that Amazon install a feature that tells new authors to go do something productive.

Because apparently, checking your sales dashboard seventeen times does not magically create seventeen sales.

Who knew?

You check it in the morning.

You check it after coffee.

You check it because you've finished a chapter.

You check it because you walked past your computer.

You check it because maybe, just maybe, something happened in the last six minutes.

And when the numbers haven't changed?

Clearly, the dashboard must be broken.

That's the only reasonable explanation.

I've learned that publishing requires patience.

Unfortunately, patience wasn't included in my original personality package.

I'm working on it.

Sort of.

Lesson Four: Free Marketing Is Free, Provided Your Time Has Absolutely No Value

Here's something nobody tells you.

You can market your book without spending money.

Technically.

You can start a blog, create social media accounts, join groups, connect with readers, and make promotional posts.

All for the low, low price of every spare minute you possess.

What a bargain!

Meanwhile, Book Two is sitting on my computer wondering whether I've abandoned it for a career in graphic design.

And my characters?

They're not particularly understanding about the situation.

I can practically hear them complaining.

Apparently, fictional people don't care about marketing strategies.

They just want me to finish telling their story.

Honestly, they're a demanding bunch.

So I'm learning to balance things.

A little marketing. A little writing. A little socializing.

And occasionally remembering that I am, in fact, allowed to have a life.

Revolutionary concept.

Lesson Five: Other Authors Are Not the Enemy

One of the nicest surprises this week has been discovering communities filled with other writers.

People who understand the strange experience of spending hours arguing with imaginary people.

People who know the emotional devastation of finding a typo after you've already checked the manuscript approximately nine thousand times.

People who understand that sometimes your characters take over the story, and you're basically just the unpaid secretary documenting their nonsense.

I've started joining author groups, following other writers, and getting to know people.

Not to shove my book in their faces.

Not to scream, "BUY MY BOOK!" every seventeen seconds.

Just to connect.

Because honestly, it's nice finding people who understand this particular brand of insanity.

And if we can support each other along the way?

Even better.

There's room for more than one author on the bookshelf.

Although I reserve the right to be jealous of anyone who has figured out how to make TikTok cooperate.

Lesson Six: Small Victories Are Still Victories

When you're starting with no audience and no advertising budget, your expectations have to be realistic.

You're probably not going to wake up the morning after publishing and discover you've become an international literary sensation.

If that happens to you, congratulations.

Also, I have questions.

Lots of questions.

But I've discovered that the little things are worth celebrating.

A new follower.

A few more views.

Someone visiting your blog.

A stranger buying your book.

A person expressing interest in reading your next novel.

These might seem insignificant to someone with thousands of readers.

But when you started with practically nothing?

They're pretty darn exciting.

Every reader has to discover you somehow.

And every author has to start somewhere.

Even if that somewhere involves drinking coffee in your pajamas while arguing with your computer.

Lesson Seven: Apparently, Writing the Next Book Is Still Required

Here's the truly outrageous part.

While I'm busy trying to convince the world that my first book exists, I'm also supposed to finish the second one.

The nerve!

Fortunately, Book Two of the Legacy Series is already well underway.

I'm working on getting it ready for readers, building an ARC team, and figuring out how to give the next release a little more visibility than the first.

You know, maybe this time I'll have more than three people aware that a book is coming.

A girl can dream.

I'm learning as I go, making mistakes, figuring out what works, and occasionally wondering whether I should have chosen a less complicated hobby.

Like juggling chainsaws.

Or wrestling alligators.

But then I remember how much I love telling stories.

And I get right back to it.

So, Was Publishing My First Book Worth It?

Absolutely.

Would I have liked to know a little more about marketing before I started?

Probably.

Would having a budget make things easier?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say yes.

But I didn't wait until everything was perfect.

I didn't wait until I had thousands of followers, a marketing team, or enough money to advertise.

I wrote my book.

I published it.

And now I'm figuring out the rest.

One day, one post, one reader, and one cup of coffee at a time.

I don't know where this adventure will lead.

Maybe I'll eventually build a wonderful community of readers who love my characters as much as I do.

Maybe I'll finally understand what the TikTok algorithm wants from me.

Maybe I'll even stop checking my KDP dashboard every time I walk past my computer.

Okay, let's not get carried away.

If you're another new author trying to figure this whole thing out, I'd love to hear what you've learned. Especially if you've discovered where Amazon hides the complimentary fruit baskets.

Until next time, keep your coffee strong, your characters interesting, and your squirrels properly supervised.

— Melinda Aubrey
Coffee, Chaos & Characters

I Got Distracted and Accidentally Published a Squirrel Journal

 Welcome to Coffee, Chaos & Characters, where the coffee is necessary, the characters have attitudes, and my ADHD brain apparently believes that starting another project is a perfectly reasonable way to avoid finishing the ones already on my desk.

I'm Melinda Aubrey, an author, animal lover, professional overthinker, and proud owner of a brain that has approximately 47 tabs open at any given moment. At least three of those tabs are playing music, one is wondering what's for dinner, and another has completely forgotten why it opened in the first place.

Sound familiar? Welcome to the club. We don't have membership cards because somebody probably put them somewhere safe and forgot where.

It Started With Coffee

This morning, I was supposed to be working on the second book in my Legacy Series. You know, doing responsible author things like editing chapters, checking continuity, and making sure my fictional characters behave themselves.

Instead, my brain decided we needed a writing journal specifically designed for creative people whose thoughts resemble a squirrel convention with unlimited espresso.

And just like that, The Squirrel Chaos Container was born.

Not a traditional planner with intimidating schedules and perfectly organized little boxes. Nope. I wanted something that understands how creative brains actually work.

Some days we write thousands of words. Other days we spend forty-five minutes researching something completely unrelated to our story because a random thought wandered through our heads and demanded immediate attention.

I wanted a place to catch those thoughts before they disappeared into the mysterious void where forgotten ideas, missing pens, and single socks apparently live.

Enter Wilbert, Chief Chaos Officer

Every respectable business needs management.

Unfortunately, mine came in the form of a wildly caffeinated orange squirrel named Wilbert.

Wilbert has big ideas, questionable priorities, and absolutely no understanding of the phrase stay on task. He's also convinced he's the reason the entire operation exists.

Technically, he might have a point, but we're not telling him that. His ego is already enormous.

Together, we created a 200-page, spiral-bound writing journal filled with space for daily writing goals, random ideas, character notes, plot details, distractions, and those all-important reminders about what we were doing before our brains wandered off.

There are even little squirrel surprises scattered throughout, because apparently I can't create a serious organizational tool without adding sarcasm.

And somehow, before I knew it, Volume One: The Chaos Begins was published on Lulu.

Yes. An actual journal. Available for people to buy.

All because I got distracted while drinking coffee.

And Then There's Herbert

I should probably warn you that Wilbert isn't the only questionable character hanging around here.

We also have Herbert.

Herbert is an imaginary tapeworm with a very real appetite, a disturbing enthusiasm for tacos, and absolutely no respect for anyone's schedule.

He started as a joke in my fictional world and has somehow become part of the management team.

I didn't approve this promotion.

Herbert and Wilbert are already arguing about who deserves more attention, which means I'm apparently running a business staffed by a hungry worm and a squirrel with a caffeine dependency.

What could possibly go wrong?

So What's This Blog About?

A little bit of everything, honestly.

I'll be sharing my adventures as an independent author, the ups and downs of writing and publishing books, my attempts to organize an ADHD brain, occasional pet-related interruptions, and whatever other ridiculous ideas show up uninvited.

You'll hear about my Legacy Series, including my first published novel, Whispering Hope. You'll also get behind-the-scenes glimpses of the writing process, lessons I'm learning about self-publishing, and probably a few stories that make you wonder how I manage to get anything accomplished.

Spoiler alert: sometimes I wonder that myself.

But here's the thing I've learned about creativity. It doesn't always arrive neatly organized with a detailed schedule and color-coded instructions.

Sometimes it arrives wearing squirrel ears, carrying a coffee mug, and demanding that you drop everything to make a journal.

And sometimes you just have to see where it takes you.

Welcome to the Chaos

If you're a writer, a reader, a creative thinker, an animal lover, or somebody whose brain occasionally takes an unscheduled vacation, I think you'll fit right in.

Grab your coffee, find a comfortable chair, and join me for the adventures.

And if you're curious about the journal that started this particular mess, you can find The Squirrel Chaos Container: Volume One — The Chaos Begins on Lulu:

https://www.lulu.com/shop/melinda-aubrey/the-squirrel-chaos-container/paperback/product-q674d96.html

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a novel to finish.

Assuming Wilbert doesn't come up with another business idea first.

Until next time,

Melinda Aubrey

Author, coffee enthusiast, and unwilling supervisor of fictional troublemakers.

P.S. Herbert wants everyone to know that tacos are always appreciated. Wilbert would like to remind you that coffee is a basic workplace necessity. Management has denied both expense requests.